When it's all over it just come back in flashes, it's like a kaleidoscope of memories. It just all come back, but he never does.

I feel like the feels won't go away, like I will never forget. It's a weird sensation and I'm so stupid for caring so much when pretty much nothing happened. But I'm so out of control when reminding myself the whole night.. It've been like we never left each other, like I already knew him, however he was still surprising me in so many ways. It's hard to describe, to put words on how I felt, it was just like I finally was myself with someone, and someone truly appreciated me. Every moment was perfect in its own way, every little thing meant a lot. I felt so peaceful around him yet so excited by the great time we were spending together. It was everything I ever wanted, with the person I expected the less but retrospectively it seems so obvious. Can't help thinking about all the details all the time, and even know my heart keeps beating faster, and I keep blushing for the words he said to me.. I probably ruined everything without even noticing, he might have misunderstood or I don't know, maybe I'm the one who misunderstood him, but the very one thing I'm sure about now is that I want him, more and more everyday and I need a chance to talk to him, to show him what my real feelings are because I feel like I might need him in my life somehow. After all this time, always

Quand on aime la mode, plus que savoir ce qu'on aime, il me semble essentiel de savoir ce que l'on n'aime pas. Et de le dire, encore plus. Sachez donc que je n'aime pas Prada, et que leur dernier défilé me conforte dans mon idée. Vous m'auriez montré ce show en me disant que c'était celui de Desigual que je n'aurai pas cillé.

What I love about the beginning of holidays : you start by doing all you wanted to do the last month before your exam but couldn’t decently do it. Watching all over again Skins UK 2nd generation, read again The Notebook, Les fleurs du mal, buying and studying new books about the fashion history, fighting all the time with my siblings I don’t live with during school year.. There’s so many movies I want to see, DVDs as well as cinema, so many books I bought this year I haven’t read yet. And I finally know when I start working: July 15th so I’ve approximatively one month left. I love being in my birth place so much.. I don’t have real friends anymore, sometimes I see old “friends” in town but not on purpose, I don’t like the girl I was and the people I used to go out with anymore. Paris is so different, I grew up so much more in one year than in my entire high school time + first year of college. I tried new things, discovered a new me, new tastes, and everything seems so soft here when I party hard, don’t sleep, looks like a zombie all the time in Paris. Here I always start by spending a week outside all the time, then a week all alone in my room just concentrating on things I like. It feels so good to do what you want, when you want, with people loving you right beyond the door if you decide to get some social life. I think that’s it, I just love being here because I have people loving me no matter what ; that’s what I miss the most while in Paris, no-one here when I’m sad or good or at any moment, I don’t have these very true people around me when I need them, I don’t have the choice. All my life seems to be about that : be able to choose. I need to have things, I don’t necessarily want them next to me all the time, but I need to know they’re there waiting for me.